Poem of the lost Cow!

Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande

Red-Headed Stepchild
Apr 18, 2015
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Sanews Official Article​



Welcome to Sanews article section! We are once again happy to see you read our articles. Everyone has crazy experiences in the city of Los Santos and so did I. We all witness weird things in our day to day life and this time around I have got a chance to narrate mine in the form a poem.

Warning: Patients suffering from 'cringeosite', a disease where cringe content causes serious medical issues are not requested to read the following lines, patients who read and suffer from it - must immediately report their condition to Los Santos Fire and Medical Department.

Without further delay - Let us continue.

It was the very same moonlight shining upon my old news van,
Not realizing soon, the crazy witch came down to the surface.

She landed with a broom stick that was as old as 'your mom' jokes,
I screamed, "Oh little stick, so sick - that big bum will break you some day!"

I shouldn't have screamed, the danger level grew high as the tides in the ocean -
She wanted to fight me. Am I going to call the 911 for this old woman?

Luckily I got hold of her broom stick, anyways she behaved like a mad lady-
My spells were as simple as my beauty - "Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily your life is just a cream.."
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So creamy that she turned into a cow or a buffalo - I ain't sure till date,
My dreamy old van kept it's door wide open in shock.

Am I worthy enough to call myself a magician,
People have not, but have called me a bitch that is as good as a witch -Isn't it?!

I am happy that I won that war, a war which has no purpose for our city,
It was an experience where people turned their faces away.
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I deserve every bit of the respect, but did the cow talk?
I don't really know how much cream it has - or can it even give me milk or *beep*?

I then left my van near the Marina water lanes,
I walked back home thinking moon and stars!



​
Thank You,
Network Direction - Ariana Grande

((Keep the comments/replies role-play in nature.))

​
 
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Christian Dodge

Christian Dodge

Retired Admin
Advisory Committee
Chartered Old-School
Jul 6, 2013
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Ariana Grande said:
Network Direction - Ariana Grande
Click to expand...
(( I lose more and more faith everyday... SAN News should be closed or John Strickland/Lend Howard should lead it. Unique ideas aren't always the best ideas (i.e. this "article"). Try reporting newsworthy stuff — robberies, terrorism, riots, anything. Only thing I can give you some credit on is that TV-like thing you were doing, which even though it really isn't news it is a interesting idea, but that's about it. Your spelling and grammar are above average (for Lawless standards), I'll give you that, but they're still really not sufficient enough to lead a faction that requires nearly 100% perfect grammar and spelling (but as this is the smallest issue, it could slide since it is good enough especially since no one else wants to lead SAN News). Not to mention the fact that you powergame over news reports ("*bites lip*" for example even though IT'S NOT VISIBLE THROUGH RADIOS), which is a much bigger flaw considering this faction is also the only faction which requires the highest level of role-play to run efficiently. You should really proofread your articles before posting, to prevent stupid stuff like "Network Direction" being posted, which I would say is one of the biggest problems with SAN News under your leadership. If you want to have a good SAN News faction, you should:
• Stop posting dumb stuff like this article, report REAL news (robberies, terrorism, anything other than what you're currently doing — this isn't a reality TV show it's a news agency — biggest issue by far)
• Try not powergaming as much (like the RP movements/interactions like "*bites lip*" — second biggest issue)
• Proofread your articles before posting them (twice would be ideal — third biggest issue)
• Try improving your spelling and grammar (although grammar seems to be a much bigger issue — this is probably the smallest issue to be honest, your spelling is good enough as is your grammar but you should always strive for perfection)​

Also:
IT IS SAN NEWS NOT SANEWS.
http://gta.wikia.com/wiki/SAN_News

Just my 2¢, though I do think you'd stop getting so much hate if you did improve those areas that I mentioned. ))
 
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